I became pagan and open about it at age 19. The Pagan community was not accepting of me at that time, as I was also awakening as a elemental vampyre - strigoi to boot. I was too angry to be pagan and spiritual! I was not overly welcomed in the Vampire community either due to the issue I didn't want to be down with "the pain of not being able to feed all the time" and wanted to wear bloodstone or heliotrope gemstone to help with the "thirst". How dare I not be into being in pain from something I needed.
Heliotrope worked for me, and I am now donor free for the most part. I am now considered an Elementalist or I feed only on raw energy from the planet itself and I am not a being that poison's the world about me by doing so. I have learned the online pagan community and vampyre community (not communal, which is something I have created for spiritual people) is not that important and their acceptance of me is NOT needed.
I recently found out I was adopted. My Birth parents are Romanian, German, and Stregoni of Sicily and Italy. They have been my parents in all of my incarnations on the planet. So, I was born naturally strigoi. I was put to sleep at 19 for surgery so I have become Morte.I tend to have a somber, grave and sometimes stern appearance and I have been told I frighten or make others nervous - even other vampires.I recently found out I am an ISTJ, as a personality type I can be stern and follow the rules until the job is done. This is called integrity and commitment.Apparently, I am have the personality type of an ISTJ. I think I more or less have the personality type of an ISNJ but that isn't something they have on that site.
" You Are An ISTJ.Of all the types, ISTJ is the most driven to fulfill its role in society.They’re extremely responsible, duty-bound people. When at their best they have an unmatched ability to “just keep going.”They’re always determined to keep their promises and will “push through” to get anything done.People of this type think of themselves as down-to-earth, fair, and wise. They learn best through direct experience, and due to their strengths, never forget a lesson they have learned.They generally expect everyone to follow “the rules” and, albeit reluctantly, are willing to help enforce them(and we get extremely upset when a numbnut can't or won't! …"Yes, this sounds like me.
I have heard rumors that I am a God. I am a God. Not do as I say God, but I believe the old ones are rising, and coming here. Is that not the point of "pagan ways"? To celebrate the path of the old ones? Anyone who is truly a shaman, isn't "mundane/mortal or human". They are a God. I am Omnipotent. I am Shimbipotent as well. If the life coaches are here then we are in a long period of awakening and becoming.
We are in the age of understanding, which follows the great awakening. Thanks for understanding that even Gods are present.
Why would you not want to learn from a God? If you are here to just steal spells and try and destroy magick as a whole you're not anything but a being of fear. This is not a fearful place.
People don't understand that God's have something to do, if they're here then there is a reason. They will just walk away from you. You can't stop what has reason to exist and be here.
This being here is a Bodhi (Bod high), she existed in nature as a nature protector that people would come when they needed. It is believed she would attach the right spiritual God/dess to the person to help with that problem. This practice was popular 5,553K ago. She is Shanti or an aspect of Mara, the Dark One, a Persian Garden Goddess. Keeper of the worlds.
I have Fibro, RA, SAD, Panic & Nervous disorder, Agoraphobia, Bursitis in my back, sometimes CFS, IBS and if it's nerve or muscle related, I probably have it. In late 2009 I was hospitalized for a nervous breakdown. I had finally had enough stress, moving all over the place, domestic abuse from a relationship, mental abuse from their whole family. I crapped out. I have had repeated relapses from this time frame as well. In 2010 I went through some life changing things. in 2011 I developed full blown MusioSkeletal Disorder or MSD and Fibro. RA was soon to follow in 2012. My depression since then is on going moderate to severe, where I have good days and bad ones. I also developed travel sickness that causes vertigo while sitting and standing still called agoraphobia in 2016. I have been dealing with this ever since three years ago. I still have bad days and can not go near or cross large bridges or large bodies of water. I do not go to lakes or piers or docks. I will not ever go to these again. I don't need to confront or take back the night as this deals with EGOS. I don't have one. If God wants me to stay safe by keeping me from these places, be he whatever God he is, so be it. 🧜🏻♂️🔱👑
I do not ride with strangers, Lyft or Uber. I am always going to be on medicine for this disability. I receive SSI. Soon I hope to receive Survivors Pension as well to help and pay for a better place to live soon. People think I may think I am a Vampyre, Pagan etc because I am always so sick or down and out. No, being what one is, is because of what one is. Vampyres have these conditions, just as wolves have Lupus, which causes Cancers. Upyr's Have COPD. We all have that one sickness that makes us what we are. See more here on the Wraitl Wikia.
SAD= Social Anxiety Disorder (Can't be around certain places, people or large or smaller crowds, will totally freak out if I sense any sort of danger even if there appears to not be any)
RA= Rheumatoid Authritis
Panic disorder = Panics for no reason
Nervous disorder = Tension and stress also my nerve signals due not always respond correctly like trying to hold an item I will sometimes involuntarily drop the item instead. Nerve signal from brain to hand is there but from hand to brain is gone. (Spirituality wise is known to carry around a spiritual dead form of some sort)
I also tend to fumble some and trip over plain flat surfaces.
People freak out when they learn I am a Spiritual Satanist as well. I believe I have had past lives in which I have lived around Satan themselves as well as other Satanists like themselves. To me, Satan is a They, both male and female in energy form, and classified as a being, not a person or a soul or spirit. I don't see Satan as a Christian being. I do not see God as a Christian Being. To me, Satan is not an evil being, and is a pagan deity much like Diana or even Bast. They have other names other than Satan, which is a hebrew word. I know I said I was a God. As a God I had many names. I did not worship Satan or Idols. I simply said I knew them.
This is what we believe in:
1. Compassion for all
2. Loyalty to the cause
3. Honor thy family/friends (spirit not blood family -- Grotto tradios does not see having children as family with marriage, but walking together as comrades)
4. Insensitivity - Being closed off to those not like you or who wouldn't lift a finger to help you as they can not help themselves. Being shut down and cold, when people beg you for your help. (Unless there is no other way - show them the path and then let them take over if they can't survive then leave them to it)
5. Being Sacred - Remember where you came from when you had little. Be true to yourself. Stay away from trends and society. They are lost. (Look at the COVID Pandemic for instance)
6. Preserve Hope and Never Fear -- You are a great being, lower than no other being like you. You must not fear. Trust in the ways of survival and hope. Do not trust in the ways of fear or running away scared.
7. Be informed. Stay up to date with news but don't follow the ways of the world. Be informed and Prepared for any issue at any given time.
Make a preparedness list for things in the home like First Aid, list of emergency numbers, Tornado and Storm Kits, Animal Control, Hurricane kits and Terrorist Kits if your area is prone to such a thing. Carry out drills. Role play through scenarios where you are threatened so if you ever have to know what to do, you are prepared. Earthquake, Floods, Gas Leaks, Flat Tires, Car know how, Mace and other survival weapons or supplies. Know how to construct lean to's and tents, make a fire in the wilderness for warmth or call signal and more. Satanists are also called Templar. Templar knew how to do things. (Not Scared I am now a Christian Templar).
The path and tradition is not about worshiping any GOD or BEING. It is about living well without saying its because of God or Christ or Satan. It is because you are learned, wise and know what to do and how to handle yourself in the midst of a crisis and Chaos.
Why does it matter if people worship any God other than THE God?
Is THE GOD truly of a Christian Origin?
Is THE GOD of a hebrew or Gentile Origin?
GOD as THE GOD is mentioned allot in the OT or Old Testament, but they are never referred to as THE Christian GOD.
There was no such thing as Christian at that time. So, by the time Jesus died, people wanted to soften the blows of hard living - it's common. We're going through our own version called Pandemic right now. People take so much, and people break, and then take a break. This happens all through out time.
In The OT, it also says in several passages You shall not believe in or consult spiritism's.
Spiritism is talking too and praying to a GOD, no matter WHOM it is. (Paranormal Research)
Spirits are thought to lead people astray or even harm them.
The Bible as a Hate Text:
In today's society we know that the bible, especially portions of the OT, are a hate text.
It preaches harm against animals and women, be they slaves, married women or women in general.
** People believed if they took the runt of the sheep (lamb) in the OT and heaped their sins on it and cast it into the desert, then the lamb would go and starve too death and die and people's "sins" would be washed away!
(Priests also) would perform this "rite". This is from having a guilty or perverse mental state of being or mind, or having hardships which one would have had in that time frame. (Psychosis)